


High Calorie Prison

by Helena_Hathaway



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Anal Sex, Extremely High Levels of Sarcasm, Frerard, He Gets His Hand Stuck in A Vending Machine, Humor, M/M, One Shot, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Porn With Plot, Sex, Shameless Smut, Smut, that's the plot, vending machine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-23
Updated: 2015-01-23
Packaged: 2018-03-08 19:35:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3220865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helena_Hathaway/pseuds/Helena_Hathaway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank honestly didn’t know that getting your hand stuck in a vending machine could end up getting you laid, but the world is a strange and beautiful place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	High Calorie Prison

It’s moments like these where Frank has to really reevaluate his life choices. This is quite possibly the stupidest thing he has ever done in his entire life ever. He literally cannot think of any stupider moment than this one. He once failed a test because he didn’t know the difference between plumage and plummet, which made for some really fucked up metaphors about peacocks, but that doesn’t compare to this. This is most definitely the dumbest thing he has ever done.

Frank looks down at his hand, flexing the fingers to himself, waiting for someone to walk by and either give him a phone to call someone or help him out. The fingers of his left hand are busier than most peoples, covered in ink, but he really doesn’t need to reacquaint himself with the colors for this extended length of time. It’s really ridiculous. He can’t do anything though. He only has the one hand to mess around with, because he’s a fucking idiot who couldn’t function without his Doritos. He’s really regretting this now. He may never eat Doritos again. Okay, so maybe that’s a little rash, but he will definitely lay off the chips for a time. 

Frank huffs, looks up at the ceiling and pleads for someone to come by and help him out of this predicament, but of course, the stupidest thing he ever does just happens to befall him on a day and place where there’s literally no one around to help him.

If he stays here any longer, his prospects are not looking good. He’s not going to die here, that’s not an issue, but he sure as hell might die of embarrassment. He assumes someone will find him before the sun completely sets. That’s what he hopes. If not then at least he only has a little over 72 hours until the office opens back up. Cleaning crews come in on Saturdays, but sometimes he doesn’t know if they come in on three day weekends. They might not.

Yep, Frank is stupid. 

No, he’s not just stupid. There’s dumb, there’s stupid, there’s complete idiocy, and then way down at the bottom of the list, the most stupid thing in the world, that’s where Frank is. That’s where Frank’s name would be on a list of the strongest confessions of idiocy.

Today just isn’t treating him very well. First, he completely forgot to set his alarm clock and was late for work. Second, the coffee pot in the break room decided that Frank didn’t deserve any coffee so when he tried to get some, it was all gone and some dick decided not to start a new pot, so he had to do it, but when he got back ten minutes later, all the coffee was gone again. When he tried to make a third pot though, they were all out of coffee! 

Thirdly, he made an idiot out of himself in front of his boss when he forgot to remove some files from his flash drive. He just had to grab the one flash drive that just had to include his ultimate list of celebrities that he would totally bang. Why does he even have that file on his work computer? Mass lists of bangable celebrities need to stay on your private computer. It doesn’t matter how much you love Lee Pace’s eyebrows, if your boss sees that list, you will never be able to look her in the eye ever again.

Fourthly, he let his phone out of his sight for literally one minute and that just so happened to be the minute where it decided to commit suicide and jumped off of his desk right onto the cold linoleum underneath. The damn thing was living on a prayer in the first place, but why did it have to take that leap? It wouldn’t have been that big of a problem if all had gone according to plan and Frank had gotten the opportunity to stop at a Walmart on his way home, but no, his luck is not good today. 

Of course today had to be the day that the hot guy from the lunchroom ordered a banana. Why did the hot guy from the lunchroom have to order a banana today of all days? Frank’s favorite days are when the hot guy from the lunchroom orders a banana, but no, not today. Today he just _had_ to hypnotize Frank with his unfairly phallic shaped fruit, and Frank just _had_ to drool so much that he forgot about his own lunch. 

All of this is his fault, Frank decides. If only the damn hot guy didn’t have to love potassium so much than Frank wouldn’t have forgotten to eat, and he wouldn’t have been hungry, so he wouldn’t have gone to the basement where they keep the old relic of a vending machine, and he wouldn’t have paid for a bag of Doritos, and he wouldn’t have come to the situation where the Doritos got stuck, and he wouldn’t have been so fucking stupid enough to just reach in and grab the stupid fucking Doritos, and then his arm never would’ve gotten stuck in the stupid fucking vending machine. 

It’s all hot guy from the lunchroom’s fault. 

“Stupid fucking banana eater,” Frank groans.

“Excuse me?” someone says, and Frank almost dies of embarrassment right there. 

“Hello?” Frank calls out. Sure, he’s talking to himself, but he’ll take the embarrassment over never being rescued from his high calorie prison. He hasn’t heard any footsteps for at least an hour though, so why on earth does someone just have to walk by while Frank is making an even bigger idiot of himself.

“Uh, hello?” the voice responds, it belongs to a guy, but it’s not a voice Frank recognizes. There’s way too many floors in this building for Frank to even know a tenth of the people who work here.

“Yes, could you maybe, I don’t know, help me?” Frank asks. He doesn’t know where whoever that person is, but he knows that they’re voice is somewhere to his left. Why on earth is someone in the basement so late in the afternoon? It’s got to be almost six by now, though Frank doesn’t know because his hand with his watch is trapped in a fucking vending machine. 

“Uh, where are you?” the person asks, and then Frank hears footsteps coming his way. He braces himself for the trauma he’s about to experience from a stranger finding him in one of the most ridiculous positions of all time. His back is against the machine, and he wiggles at his arm, only to confirm what he’s known for over three hours now. Frank’s arm is stuck. For real stuck.

Then someone turns a corner and Frank is met with _him_. 

Of course it has to be him. Who else would it be? On today of all days, it’s just got to be him. The one day where he would give anything to just curl up into a cocoon and never come out has to be the first time he ever talks to hot guy from the lunchroom. This is just perfect.

Hot guy from the lunchroom settles his eyes on Frank, and Frank can see his face the instant he has the realization how stupid Frank is. His annoyingly nice face just flashes with guilty amusement, and his eyebrow raises in disbelief at the helpless thing that is Frank. 

“Wow,” he says, trying to not look at Frank like he’s about to burst into hysterical laughter.

“I know right? Talk about that idiot who got his arm stuck in a vending machine. What a fucking dumbass,” Frank says, sounding absolutely unamused.

“Yeah, so uh,” hot guy from the lunchroom looks down at Frank for a little while longer, and he looks like he’s trying to find something to say. It’s not a position where you practice what you’re going to say though. That’s not something that you ever think about. What are you supposed to say when you come across a grown man with his arm up a vending machine?

“No really, just stand there looking entertained. I don’t need any help at all. I’ll just magically unstick my arm and everything will be fine. Don’t bother trying to help me or anything, because obviously I planned this all. I want my arm up a vending machines ass.”

“I don’t think the inanimate object has an officially designated ass,” the guy says, and Frank sighs, because he’s still just standing there looking at him.

“Forgive me if you will, but I don’t really give half of a shit what you call this thing. I’m calling it prison for the time being, because I’m fucking stuck!”

“Right,” the guy says, nodding, “So do you... come here often then?”

“Okay, I may not have two arms, and I may be pinned in place right now, but I will still kick you so hard in the nuts that your grandchildren will feel it.”

“Wow. You’ve totally convinced me to help you out with your situation,” he says, and Frank makes an angry noise.

“Seriously? Can we stop with the making fun of the idiot game, and help said idiot out of his vending machine?”

“Yeah, sure,” the guy says, and that’s what finally gets him to walk over to Frank close enough that if things go sour, Frank actually does have access to kicking him where it hurts.

“Hi nice to meet you. You can call me the idiot who got his arm stuck in a vending machine when you tell this story to all of your friends,” Frank says.

“Do I get a real name from you?”

“Nope,” Frank replies.

“Well okay then, guy who got his arm stuck in a vending machine. I’m Gerard.”

“Hi,” Frank says. 

“So uh, what do I do?”

“I don’t fucking know!”

“If you’re going to behave like that then I don’t see why I should help you,” Gerard says.

“Oh god, I’m just being sarcastic!” Frank says, scared that he’s going to walk away and leave Frank here.

“Relax. I’m just kidding,” Gerard snorts. “So, have you, uh, tried pulling?”

Frank looks at him like Gerard’s the one with his arm stuck in a vending machine, and says, “Why didn’t I think of that? Why didn’t I just try to take my arm back? Three hours I’ve been sitting here and it never once occurred to me to try pulling my arm out. Someone call the Nobel Prize committee, you’re a real genius.”

“I don’t believe that’s how they award those things.”

“It’s almost like you think I’m being literal,” Frank says.

“It’s almost like you think _I’m_ being literal.”

“Touché.”

“What were you trying to get anyway?” Gerard asks him.

“Doritos. I put the money in but it got stuck, but I figured, since they’re close to the bottom, I might be able to pull them out, but now I’m here. Stuck feeling like a complete idiot in front of a complete stranger.”

“Well, not complete strangers, per se. I mean, I do know what snack foods you enjoy, and you know my name.”

“We’re practically related,” Frank says.

“Basically,” Gerard shrugs, “we might as well send out the wedding invitations now.”

“My mom is going to love you,” Frank replies. 

“Don’t you think I ought to know your name if I’m already engaged to you?” Gerard asks.

“It’s Frank.”

“Is that your name or are you saying that your name is incredibly blunt?”

“You’re annoying,” Frank says, shaking his head, “but I need you to help me get my arm out of this contraption, so I’ll play along. My name is Frank.”

“Gotcha,” Gerard replies, and he kneels down to look at the vending machine a little closer like he’s trying to figure out a way to get Frank out. 

“Any ideas?” Frank asks.

“Uh, I think we could try to get something to like, grease you out of there,” Gerard suggests.

“The only grease I want anywhere near me is the one with John Travolta.”

“Very funny,” Gerard says, “I think that’s the only way out though. Like, your arm might just slip out?”

“Or,” Frank says, lifting his free hand, “We could find something to wedge in there, like an axle or something to create more space.”

“That might work too,” Gerard nods. “I gotta find something that won’t break then.”

“Take out the shelf from one of those bookcases over there,” Frank says, pointing. “You might be able to pry me out.”

“Wow. Hell of a Friday night,” Gerard says, standing up and walking over to where Frank had pointed.

Gerard comes back a minute later with the wooden shelf that’s been removed from the bookcase, so it’s basically just a long piece of plywood. 

“So, if I might ask, what’re you doing down here at this time? Shouldn’t you have left by now?”

Gerard looks at him while he tests whether or not the wood is even going to fit inside the machine.

“What? Oh, I... well, I sound like a bad person if I tell you that I was going to steal some pens and shit, but you’ve got your hand stuck in a vending machine so I feel like I can trust you to keep my secret,” Gerard says.

“Believe me, my lips are absolutely sealed. Do you really think I’m going to go around blabbing your secret when you caught me with my hand in a vending machine? You could murder a man right in front of me and I’d still lie for you.”

“I thought so,” Gerard says. 

“How about we both completely forget what happened down here once we walk up those steps?” Frank asks.

“Sounds good to me,” Gerard agrees.

“Neither one of us ever talks about this again after today?”

“Yep,” Gerard accepts. “Back to the situation at hand though, I think this is going to fit. What do you think will work better, pushing at the top of the machine, or at the bottom?”

“The top feels like it’ll break easier, so do it that way,” Frank says, “I don’t care if you break the damn thing. I just want to get the hell out of here.”

“It’s on you if it breaks,” Gerard says, but he shrugs, and wedges the shelf into the machine, ready to push down on it to create more space for Frank to free himself.

“Well, if we run away and pretend we were never here than neither of us has to take any blame.”

“I like the way you think, Frank.”

Frank smiles toothily at Gerard, while he rolls his eyes, and looks back at Frank, waiting for him to tell him to start. 

“You can do it already, I’d very much like to have my arm back,” Frank says, “it’s a good thing you came when you did though otherwise they might’ve had to remake 127 Hours.”

Gerard snorts, and shakes his head, “Yeah because this situation is completely comparable to the guy who got his arm stuck in a canyon.”

“I don’t see why not,” Frank shrugs, “don’t fight me on this. I’ve been here a long time, I’m starting to get delusional.”

“I can see that. Before I get you out, I just have to ask you to admit to your complete and utter stupidity,” Gerard says.

“I’m an idiot,” Frank replies, “a justifiable, unparalleled idiot. There, happy?”

“Very,” Gerard nods, “Okay, so I’m just going to press down and you pull okay?”

“That sounds like the weirdest proposition I have ever heard, but I’m game,” Frank nods, completely ready to be relinquished from this dumb situation. Gerard looks at him, and then he pushes down on the wood, which in turn, lifts the other end of the shelf that’s wedged into the vending machine. Frank hears plastic groaning from inside at the pressure, and he starts to try tugging his arm free again.

Frank’s arm had begun sweating about an hour ago, and he can tell that it might actually be a good thing, because he feels his arm loosen a bit. Gerard’s only giving him maybe a fraction of a centimeter extra space, but Frank can feel his arm giving way a little bit. He has to wiggle it, because the arm’s not coming out straight, but it just might be possible to pull out if he twists it around enough. 

Frank gets back about an inch of his arm slowly until he’s been given enough room that the size of his arm starts to thin out, and he can pull it completely free.

Frank’s almost in disbelief when he looks down to see that his arm is actually right there in front of him, and the smile on his face is the most genuine he’s had in _years_.

“Oh I fucking love you,” Frank says, looking down at his fingers happily. He’d missed his arm. 

“Took you long enough to say it,” Gerard says.

“Oh god, I’ve missed my arm,” Frank says, still looking at it like he just found buried treasure. His skin is shiny with sweat, but he doesn’t particularly care, because he really can’t verbalize how glad he is to have his arm back. He hopes never to underappreciate it again. 

“Please don’t tell me you’re going to leave me for a hand,” Gerard says, “after all the work we’ve put into this relationship. What a travesty.”

Frank rolls his eyes. He’s totally not going to deny that he likes this guy. At least, he likes Gerard’s sense of humor. He also likes his face. It’s a very nice face though.

“I think it might get kind of lonely,” Frank says, “besides, you’re my savior. My white knight.”

“Yeah alright,” Gerard says.

“Help me up, will you?” Frank says when Gerard starts up and ends on his feet. Frank’s butt feels totally numb from sitting on the floor for way too long without being able to move. Gerard offers him a hand and Frank tests out his newly free fingers by grabbing at Gerard’s. 

Frank’s lifted onto his feet and the minute he actually stands up he feels infinitely happier. He really thought that he might’ve had to wait a lot longer. He thought he’d be stuck there until the cleaning crew came in tomorrow. He’s very glad of his banana eating savior’s presence.

“I hate this fucking thing,” Frank says, kicking at it when he looks back at it. He’d been stuck there for way too long, and now all of a sudden it looks extremely ugly and he wants it to go die in hell.

“Yeah, you showed it who’s boss,” Gerard says sardonically, “I guess you could say that you two had a little bout. A Rage Against the Machine, if you will.”

“Keep that up and I’ll be kicking you next.”

“I’m sorry. I saw a golden opportunity so I took it,” Gerard replies.

“I’m not angry, I just can’t help but groan at how stupid that joke was,” Frank says.

“I think we both know who the stupid joke is in this situation.”

“Asshole,” Frank says, laughing. 

“I try my hardest.”

“You going to steal some pens now?” Frank asks.

“I think that the vandalism is enough actually,” Gerard says, “I’ll leave the pens alone just this once.”

“Okay,” Frank says, “Might I walk you to the stairs then?”

“Well there’s only one exit,” Gerard says.

“True,” Frank agrees, “but remember, as soon as we go upstairs, nothing that happened down here ever actually happened, got it?”

“You have my word,” Gerard nods and he walks along with Frank as he starts toward the stairs. There’s a curve between the stairs to the exit upstairs and the vending machine, and a wall full of boxed office supplies opposite them. Frank will admit, Gerard stealing pens or various other staple items could probably go unnoticed for a few decades with how much excess they have.

“Alright, pinky swear it to me,” Frank says when he reaches the steps leading upwards.

“What am I? Ten?” Gerard asks.

“I will pinch you if you don’t pinky swear with me. I’m not above behaving like a small child.”

“No I can see that. You did just get your hand stuck up a vending machine,” Gerard responds.

“Which is precisely why you need to pinky swear to me that that knowledge does not leave this room.”

“Alright fine,” Gerard says, hooking his pinky finger with Frank’s. 

“Great. Now that we’ve got that settled,” Frank says, and he turns around, about to start walking up the stairs.

“Frank?” Gerard says.

“Yeah?” Frank turns to Gerard right as he was about to walk up the steps.

Gerard totally catches him off guard though, because when Frank turns around he somehow ends up with his mouth against Gerard’s which was not at all his intended target. He didn’t plan for this to happen, and as soon as it processes in Frank’s brain that he’s literally kissing Gerard right now, he pulls away.

“Uh, what was that?” Frank asks.

“Well I figure that none of what just happened actually did happen, so if I was going to kiss you it had to be while we were still in the business of pretending that nothing went on down here,” Gerard shrugs.

“So you just decided to kiss me?” 

“Do not pretend, even for a second, that you don’t stare at me in the cafeteria,” Gerard says.

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” Frank says, feeling somewhat panicked in his stomach. How on earth does Gerard know that? He’s never even met Frank’s stare in the lunchroom, and now all of a sudden Gerard’s telling him that he knew the whole time? This is really the worst day of his life.

“No?” Gerard says, raising an eyebrow. “I’m totally making it up? I haven’t seen you looking at me upwards of a hundred times.”

“What do you want from me?” Frank asks, giving up on lying, “You have such a nice fucking face. And your mouth... I’m only human!”

“Yeah well, I’m human too and your eyes make me melt,” Gerard says.

“Well it’s good that we’ve settled that then,” Frank says, nodding.

“Yep.”

“So, uh, do you want to head on over to my apartment and pretend some more? I figure we can just completely pretend today never happened.” 

“No way in hell are you going to get me to agree to a one night stand,” Gerard says.

“Okay, then how about we go upstairs and I’ll bump into you and we’ll introduce ourselves to each other, and then I’ll invite you to my apartment so that we can get to know each other. We can maybe exchange phone numbers, or, like, saliva. I don’t mind either one.”

Gerard laughs, “wow, don’t sugarcoat it or anything.”

“Well, we’ve got to work out what’s going to happen now, because as soon as we go upstairs, nothing will have happened down here at all.”

“Alright then,” Gerard says. “You go first. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

“You’ll _meet_ me in a few minutes,” Frank corrects.

“Okay sure.”

Frank gives Gerard a quick once over, before he turns around and starts up the stairs, kind of hoping that Gerard stares at his ass, because Frank is kind of oddly proud of his butt.

When Frank makes it up to the first floor of the office building, he’s not surprised to find it deserted. Everyone’s gone home for the night, and most of the lights have been turned off. It’s kind of creepy actually. Frank really doesn’t want to be here, considering they have a long weekend off. He wants to go home. Maybe have some company over. Maybe naked company, Frank wouldn’t complain if that were to happen.

He hears Gerard coming up the stairs not long after he finds a place near the door to the big entry hall at the front of the building. He takes a breath and tells himself that he’s got to totally commit to playing this part, because it’ll either be really weird or weirdly sexy, and he’s hoping on the latter. 

Frank turns to see Gerard standing there, trying not to look at him, but he’s failing miserably.

“I didn’t know anyone else was here so late,” Frank says, walking over to Gerard.

“Yeah, I was just heading out,” Gerard replies.

“Me too. I’ll walk you out.”

“Great. Thanks. And you are?”

“I’m Frank. I occasionally stare at you in the cafeteria, especially when you’re eating bananas, because I find you incredibly attractive,” Frank says.

Gerard beams at him, “Hello, Frank. Nice to meet you. I have at least a dozen sketches I’ve drawn of you because I think you’re really cute, and I think it’s funny how you don’t realize that I can tell you stare at me in the cafeteria.”

“I’m happy we’ve finally met, Gerard,” Frank says, putting his hand in front of him for Gerard to shake.

“Well, Frank, if you don’t mind, I’m going to put my mouth on top of your mouth right now.”

“Sounds good,” Frank nods. Gerard rolls his eyes and steps closer to Frank, grabbing the side of his head and removing the space between the two of them. This time Frank is ready for it, so he kisses back, and he’s quite happy to think about the fact that he’s currently making out with the guy who he stares at in the cafeteria. That’s definitely the best thing to result in getting your arm stuck in a vending machine. There’s no outcome that could be better than this. Well, maybe winning a million dollars, but this guy is hot, and Frank would rather not try to equate kissing him to a profit. 

Frank pulls away a moment later, and smiles up at Gerard, then starts to pull him towards the door.

“Well this has been fun, meeting you and all, but I can’t take your pants off in here, so we’re going to go to my apartment now,” Frank says.

“Alright, your logic seems to be solid to me,” Gerard says. He allows Frank to shepherd him away, and he just sort of rolls with it. He rolls with it in Frank’s shitty car, because he’s just decided that he really wants to throw all his cares out the window for tonight. Frank’s on board, why can’t Gerard be?

Ten minutes later, as Frank basically drags him up to his apartment, Gerard is finally given a break to actually breathe only when they come upon Frank’s apartment. He unlocks the door quickly, throws his keys on a table to the right of the door, and holds the door open for Gerard.

“After you, sir.”

“Your apartment is lovely,” Gerard says.

“Yeah? Wait until you see my bed,” Frank says.

“Oh is it nice?”

“Sure,” Frank says, grabbing Gerard and pulling him through the living room, because he’s finally gotten the guy in a place where he can rip all of his clothes off, which he direly wants to do.

“Yeah, I like it,” Gerard nods once Frank‘s dragged him into his bedroom, and slammed the door.

“Really?” Frank asks, “Well that’s good.”

“Is there any specific reason you’re showing me your bed?” Gerard asks, so sickly innocently that Frank almost gags.

“No, not particularly. Why? What’d you have in mind?” 

“I was just thinking that you might want to get to know me,” Gerard says, batting his eyelashes. “I just want to spell out some of my interests.”

“Oh really?” Frank asks, and he’s too curious as to what Gerard’s about to say to stick his tongue in Gerard’s mouth right now.

“Yeah. So, let me see. I enjoy coffee.”

“Same,” Frank says.

“That’s good. I really like late night TV, not sure why. I also enjoy comic books. And I don’t know why, but I’ve always had a major kink for guys with tattoos.”

“Tattoos? I disapprove of them,” Frank says, not even sure what the hell he’s saying. It’s not necessarily sarcasm, he’s just being someone else entirely.

“Oh? And why is that?” Gerard asks.

“I don’t know. I just think people with tattoos are kind of dirty. You know?”

“You need to stop being so judgmental,” Gerard says, stepping forward and putting his hand on Frank’s neck, precisely where there’s an inked scorpion crawling across his skin.

“No, I’m set in my ways. Too late to change me now,” Frank says, “personally, if I have any kinks it must be that I’m attracted to people _without_ tattoos. Or maybe guys with nice dark hair the perfect length to tug on.”

“Oh really?” Gerard says, stepping closer to him.

“Yeah.”

“Well I guess that makes us polar opposites then.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Frank says, and that’s the last thing he says before he’s pulling on the back of Gerard’s head, and forcing him to meet Frank’s lips. He was definitely right about Gerard’s hair though. Perfect for tugging. And when he tugs on it, it gets Gerard to make this growling sound that jumps straight to Frank’s dick. 

“I don’t even know how to behave around you. I just don’t know how to relate to you,” Gerard says, sarcastically. Frank pushes him up so that the backs of his knees meet the foot of the bed. Instead of pushing Gerard onto his back like he wants to, Frank instead forces him to sit down while simultaneously straddling his hips. 

“I understand the feeling,” Frank says, grabbing the collar of his shirt and tugging it over his own head. “I just find you completely unappealing.”

“It’s completely mutual,” Gerard says, kissing the side of Frank’s neck. “We just don’t have anything in common.”

“Well we have one thing in common,” Frank says.

“What’s that?”

“We’re both horny as fuck,” Frank replies, and almost as if he’s trying to prove his point, he grinds himself down against Gerard.

Gerard doesn’t respond immediately because his mouth interrupts him with a somewhat embarrassing mewling sound, but eventually he finds his tongue to say, “I guess you’re right about that.”

“Well, there’s two of us,” Frank says, “We can help each other out.”

“Okay, I guess you have a point,” Gerard manages to say, before Frank is attacking his mouth with his own. 

Now, Frank doesn’t make a habit of kissing people who helped him after he got trapped in a vending machine, but of the people who have given him aid in such incidents, Gerard is certainly the best kisser. Given that this has never happened before though, that’s not saying much of anything at all. Of the people that Frank has kissed throughout his life, Gerard has to be among the best of them. That’s not saying much either. Essentially, Gerard’s just a damn good kisser.

He’s got this way of biting at Frank’s bottom lip that makes Frank think he’s likely going to have a heart attack. He’s just very skilled in this.

“You’re a really good kisser,” Frank notes.

“Yeah well, I have kissed a whole four people in my life. Including my pillow.”

“Lucky ass pillow,” Frank mumbles against Gerard’s jaw. Gerard starts to unbuckle the belt around Frank’s hips, while he tries not to fucking melt.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Gerard says.

“Don’t you think there’s somewhat of an imbalance that you’ve got my pants undone, but you have neither taken off your shirt, or even your goddamn shoes?”

Gerard fiddles with his feet until he manages to slip both shoes off and then stares up at Frank and grins, “there.”

Frank rolls his eyes, and then he actually does push Gerard down until his back is against the bed. He unbuttons the shirt covering Gerard, until it’s completely undone, and Gerard takes care of it himself. He throws it aside somewhere, while Frank leans down once again to kiss him.

Gerard sees the opportunity the minute it’s presented to him. With Frank leaning down like this, his legs are pretty much straight, otherwise referred to as the perfect angle to get his pants off. It’s really not that hard to slip them down his thighs, and Frank kicks them off easily, which greatly satisfies Gerard, because he decidedly enjoys a Frank without trousers. It’s a wonderful thing. 

“C’mon then,” Frank says, more to himself than to Gerard as he messes with the clasp of Gerard’s pants. Frank can’t help but find it weird that both of them are wearing dressier clothes because they’re coming straight from work. Really, Frank would rather see Gerard in skinny jeans rather than slacks.

“You’re not very good at this part,” Gerard notes.

“Fuck you,” Frank says.

“Well yeah, that’s what I’m waiting for, but you can’t even undo a belt,” Gerard says. Frank undoes the belt precisely as Gerard says that so he looks up at him with a look of pride, which is really pretty weird considering that all he did was manage to undo a guy’s pants. Once the belt is out of the loops though, Frank manages to get Gerard’s pants off, and this makes him happy.

Frank honestly didn’t know that getting your hand stuck in a vending machine could end up getting you laid, but the world is a strange and beautiful place.

“You’re so proud of yourself, aren’t you?” 

“Shut up,” Frank says, shaking his head. He clambers off of Gerard for a moment which makes Gerard whine because Frank is warm, and attractive and Gerard really wanted to keep kissing him. Also, he really wasn’t done soaking in how colorful he is everywhere. Yeah, saying Gerard likes tattoos is like saying the universe is fairly big, or like saying republicans are kind of sexist. 

“Where are you going?” Gerard asks, as Frank reaches for something underneath his bed.

“Switzerland.”

“Can you do that later maybe?” 

“Nope, I want to get there today,” Frank says, coming back with a bottle of lube and a condom.

“Well, what’s so important about Switzerland that it can’t wait until tomorrow?”

“I don’t know, I just have this strong urge telling me I’m meant to be in Switzerland,” Frank replies.

“Well you should always follow strange urges, shouldn’t you?”

“Oh yeah, definitely.”

“Well I have a few strange urges as well, but they’re much easier to complete,” Gerard replies.

“Like what?” Frank asks kneeling over to look down at Gerard.

“Namely, this,” Gerard says, and grabs Frank’s chin, pulling him closer until they’re kissing again. Frank kisses him back more forcefully than Gerard had gotten used to, but he’s alright with this too. He’s actually not sure which of the tongues in his mouth is his, but he’s fine with that. 

Frank makes quick work of getting both of their last garments off, throwing the underwear aside. He puts one of his legs over Gerard’s hip again so that he’s straddling Gerard’s waist, but he doesn’t take his mouth off of Gerard’s. 

“Mm fuck,” Gerard sighs, eyelids fluttering open slightly because of the way that Frank’s grinding down and it feels really nice against the strain of his hard-on. 

“We should’ve done this sooner,” Frank states, and Gerard’s response is to moan against his ear. “I’ll take that as a sign of agreement.”

“What about Switzerland?”

“Oh it can wait,” Frank says.

Gerard grabs the back of Frank’s neck, forcing Frank to lock eyes with him, before he forces him downward to instead lock their lips together. Frank scrambles blindly at the bed for where he dropped the supplies he needed, but he’s getting distracted by the fact that Gerard’s literally naked underneath him, and the friction between them is making his head spin.

Frank pulls himself up, until he’s basically sitting on Gerard’s lap. He’s looking down at Gerard like he’s this plainly guiltless guy, batting his eyelashes and giving Gerard these really innocent puppy dog eyes, but Gerard doesn’t consider Frank innocent in the slightest. He sees Frank trying to get the cap off the bottle of lube, and that’s not at all an innocent picture.

Gerard’s eyes widen a little more than he intends them to when he sees Frank reaching behind himself.

“Oh god, you’re not gonna-” Gerard starts, but drifts off.

“Oh yes, I fucking am,” Frank replies, hoping that he knows how Gerard had intended to finish that sentence, but there really seems to be only one logical conclusion to that string of words.

“God,” Gerard whispers, letting his head fall completely back like he’s exhausted, but mostly he just has a lot of thoughts screaming at him right now.

Frank eyes him, and wills Gerard’s eyes to open, because he wants Gerard to watch him. He just does. He’s not sure why, but he wants to be a spectacle right now.

Almost as if Gerard receives Frank’s brainwaves, he opens his eyes to see Frank looking at him predatorily. It looks like Frank is sizing him up as a meal or something, and it makes Gerard stomach do a back flip because that should not be so hot. 

“Oh god, that’s hot,” Gerard groans, watching Frank finger himself. He feels sweat starting to build up on his forehead but he doesn’t care. He can’t help how turned on he is in the slightest. It’s just too much, and Frank knows precisely what he’s doing to Gerard. He can see it in Frank’s eyes. Gerard puts his head back again, clasping his eyelids shut, because just looking at Frank is making him feel like a teenager again, and he does not want this to be like high school. He doesn’t need to cum this quickly and ruin everything, thank you very much. 

Frank grabs Gerard’s hand, and puts it on his hip where he wants it, and then busies himself with the condom wrapper. Frank keeps eyeing Gerard, who’s got his eyes closed like he’s trying to remember something, but Frank’s not sure what exactly is going on in his head right now.

Gerard feels Frank’s hand on his dick a moment later and it cuts off his air supply completely. He feels Frank’s chest pressing against his own as he does so. He knows Frank’s totally milking it, trying to get Gerard to react so he grits his teeth and waits for Frank to get the damn condom on, but it’s still not easy not to react. Frank’s everything is just blurring his decision making skills, and it’s entirely too torturous. There’s a mouth at his neck and he’s trying not to lose his brain right now, because this is totally not how he thought his Friday night was going to go. He’s really happy that this is where it’s going though. This is not something he’ll be complaining about. 

“Kiss me, Gerard,” Frank orders, right into Gerard’s ear, and his lips are attacking Frank’s so quickly, he barely even has to think about it. 

Frank makes a sound into Gerard’s mouth that translates to something along the lines of ‘too easy.’ Gerard growls at him, and bites at his lip, forcing a whimpering sound from Frank’s throat. 

Frank is the one who pulls away, sitting up quickly and grabbing the lube again to coat Gerard’s cock. Gerard pulls himself up too, and nips at Frank’s collarbone. One of his hands is still where Frank put it on his hip, and Gerard takes the other, putting it on Frank’s neck to keep him where he has easy access to biting at the skin there.

Gerard can tell that he’s got practically the same exact effect on Frank. He seems to be going through the exact same emotions that he was giving Gerard, and that pleases him. 

“God,” Frank says quietly, and all of a sudden he takes his hand off of Gerard, which Gerard would be greatly upset by if it weren’t for the fact that he knows what that leads to. 

Frank puts both of his hands on either of Gerard’s shoulders, and his forehead balances on top of Gerard’s. Even though there’s no space between them, Gerard can still look to see Frank’s mouth opened into a small ‘o’ shape, and it makes his grip on Frank’s hip tighten ever so slightly. 

Frank props himself to be aligned with Gerard and then he sinks down carefully, and patiently. He closes his eyes because it’s easier to focus when he’s not looking at the black pupils dilated in Gerard’s eyes. 

Frank makes a rasping sound at the feeling, because Gerard’s bigger than his fingers. Honestly, Frank feels more uncomfortable than anything else. Gerard inhales sharply, and isn’t able to find the order to tell himself to exhale, because he feels really fucking good right now. Frank just feels really right to him, and he can’t keep his thoughts muted enough to breathe. 

“God Frank,” Gerard whispers, and he swears he sees Frank smirk a little bit.

Frank lifts himself back up, deciding that bottoming out isn’t really necessary right now, because it’s only going to hurt. Gerard digs his nails into Frank’s hips to keep himself from jerking upwards, but it’s through much strength that he manages to keep his feet underneath him. 

A minute or so passes with Frank going real slow, torturing Gerard to a certain extent. Given his position though, it’s a lot easier than it usually would be for Frank to find his own prostate, and when he does, it makes him make a squeaking sound that in turn, makes Gerard curse.

“God,” Frank husks, and he pushes back to hit that spot again, sending his head back. Gerard takes the opportunity Frank presents him with that exposed neck, tempting him more than he’d like to say. Gerard sucks at the skin under where his neck meets his jaw in the corner, and makes his way over towards Frank’s ear. 

Frank moans, and when Frank makes a noise, Gerard almost can’t help himself from repeating it back to him. He grunts somewhere in the back of his throat, and feels Frank’s hips working quicker.

Gerard, at first, just feels Frank’s hand trail down from his shoulder to the center of his chest, and it stays there for a moment. Then, very quickly, it stops being so innocent, and Gerard’s thrown down against the bedspread when Frank pushes him. He’s caught by surprise, and makes a quiet thud. The moment of alarm is what earns Frank a cry from Gerard as he slams back down, with a wet skin against skin sound. 

“Fuck,” Gerard groans, not being able to take his eyes off of Frank from this new position. That same look Frank had earlier is back, the one where he’s looking down at Gerard like he’s the prey Frank’s been hunting for. It sends shivers down Gerard’s body. 

From this angle though he gets to see all of Frank, completely. He gets to see the ink plated across his chest and the letters across his stomach. He sees the sweat sticking the tips of Frank’s hair to the sides of his neck, and Gerard is oddly drawn to looking at the part of Frank that’s connected to him. It almost seems unreal to see Frank riding Gerard so furiously, like he’s got nothing better to do in the world.

Frank splays his hand across Gerard’s chest, keeping him in place. Gerard puts both of his hands on Frank’s hips, partly to help Frank’s balance, but mostly because he can’t figure out where else to put them. 

Frank starts making these soft little ‘ah’ sounds which is making Gerard pant with need, and he cannot seem to take his eyes off of Frank. He just looks really amazing like that. Fucking himself on Gerard, using him so completely that it’s not even computable. 

“Frank, I-” Gerard doesn’t know how to finish his sentence, because it seems like there’s an obvious meaning. He’s already so close, he just can’t find the words at all. 

“Yeah,” Frank says, breathily, looking down at Gerard with way more emotions than Gerard knows how to count. It’s like he’s overloading and Gerard thinks he can figure out why. He’s pretty sure that Frank’s pretty damn close as well. 

Frank bends down, the strength of sitting up starting to strain him too much. Gerard jerks his hips upwards, meeting Frank halfway and it makes him moan the slightest bit louder. 

“Fuck, oh god,” Frank says close to Gerard’s ear, and Gerard’s trying to figure out what to do with his hands now. Frank’s practically folded himself in half, with his chest against Gerard’s, and there’s not enough room between them for Gerard to wrap a hand around Frank’s cock, so he just runs his hands along Frank’s shoulders, and through his hair. 

“I can’t, I can’t,” Frank repeats a few times, and that’s the last thing he says before he feels his climax hit him like a train, the result of which spilling mostly onto Gerard’s stomach, but not entirely so. Gerard feels Frank steady on top of him, feels heavy breathing against his face, and he feels a last spurt of energy before he’s buried far inside Frank with the feeling of a shockwave taking over.

Gerard cums with a faint cry, until he’s turning incredibly still. His eyes clench, his hands on Frank seem to lose all their strength and Gerard just feels like he’s been injected with some high strength, and fast working muscle relaxant. Everything just sort of feels very muted for a few seconds, and he’s not aware of anything.

Gerard half shutters and half gasps himself back into the right plane of reality, his vision seeming kind of off. 

“You’re really pretty,” Frank says, and Gerard blinks a few more times, waiting for Frank to come into focus above him. He must’ve sorted himself out while Gerard was trying to figure out what air was. Frank’s still looking down at him, only he’s beside Gerard rather than on top of him, but he’s still got a leg wrapped around Gerard, like he’s making sure that Gerard can’t escape quickly.

“Thanks,” Gerard says, and Frank giggles. “You too.”

“Not as pretty as you,” Frank replies.

“I think so,” Gerard answers. Frank shrugs, and grabs the sheets around the two of them, pulling them to cover himself and Gerard. He pulls them up, but then turns himself around, and wraps Gerard’s arms around himself. He does it so quickly that Gerard barely even has time to register what’s happening until he’s already the big spoon. 

“Frank?”

“Yeah?”

“I have to ask you a question,” Gerard says.

“What’s your question?”

“Do you like Doritos?” 

Frank groans, “You really wanna go, Gerard? Really?”

Gerard snorts and Frank looks over at him to see him shaking slightly from suppressed laughter. 

“I will fuck you up,” Frank says.

“Yeah whatever,” Gerard says, grabbing Frank by the back of the neck, and pulling him down. Frank is about to refuse but then he starts kissing Gerard again, and he decides that he would really rather not end this kiss. Not now at least. Maybe in a few seconds. Or minutes. Maybe he can just stay here like this though for a really long time. Yeah, he can kiss Gerard for a little while longer. That works just as well.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment if you liked it!


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